Holidays & Mixed Families

If your not aware I am like so many others. I have been married and divorced and married..........and now I have a mixed family. With that is always new lessons to learn on how to exist in these families with harmony. I feel quite lucky that my ex and I sat down and talked on how to have a friendly divorce. We knew we would always be our daughter's parents and would have to be part of each others lives after our divorce. And we have made it work out with little fuss.

So how did we get there? Well, first we wasted a long time. Staying married 15 years when our marriage was over in the first 5 years. I would have liked to have read "How to Know if it's Time to Go-A 10-Step Reality Test for Your Marriage". Now I know that we all wish to keep our marriage healthy. I wanted to do the very same thing. But instead wasted 10 years of mine and my ex's life. And drug our sweet daughter through those trying times. Sometimes we just have to face reality.

What I do like about this book is that it addresses your children's issues. Making it a fact that there needs to be healthy relationships between the separated parents and future families. So you need to deal with how a healthy divorce works compared to an unhealthy marriage. (I know having been there.) And helping your child or children with school, family, friends, self esteem and all the issues that come up. I feel quiet lucky that we took a logical look at our future. Now having been divorced over 7 years we can still visit each other with our College Girl. And even better yet, College Girl now has her (half) lil sister to share her life with. The two families often share meals, holidays and even for a short while a home together.

I would like to thank Sterling Publishing Company for sharing "How to Know if it's Time to Go". And would highly recommend it as a tool to help when you need to take a reality check of your marriage. You will most likely find that your marriage is in better shape than you thought. And that life can be improved through communication and maybe counseling.

Importing Aid

I want to hire these Louisiana divorce attorneys to help my friend here in Texas. Do you think I can get them to travel here????

My friend has been going through all kinds of hell since Nov. '08 trying to get a divorce and custody of her 4 children. She has had to hire 2 different lawyers and still things are no closer to being settled. I like the web site for these Louisiana divorce attorneys because they offer real information to help.

The have a free booklet called Divorce Done Right . You can call Mary and ask her to send you a copy at (866) 376-7930. And they have a good section on their web site of information to know Before You Hire an Attorney. I have been learning a lot here that would have helped my friend greatly.

Do you think I can convince them to come to Texas and be her legal eagles?

The Saga Continues

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The Twins and I

Well things with the TF is not getting any better. The mom has been arrested and released on a charge of "her friend attacking her husband before any of this stuff happened". I don't know. It does not make a lot of sense. But the out come is that CPS (child protective services) has now been called in.

CPS contacted me last night to see if the kids could all stay here. They did emergency background checks on my mom, DH, CG and myself. And all was approved. Today a worker is to come do a home visit and bring some paperwork. I am not sure when. I am also not sure as to the length of the stay the children will have here. Also the dad's family has placed a protective order against the mom from seeing or being around her children. So currently my family is all that is to be around the children. This is getting more and more messed up for these kids.

Last night we did dinner and baths. Just explaining to the older ones that they were spending the night here. Placed the twins in our room on a spare bed and the older two in the living room right next to it. Today we did morning routine since we have been getting them ready for school here before anyway. Also they spent the Christmas break here too. So life was pretty calm.

Also today I helped CG start packing for her move to the dorms this weekend. We will be converting her bedroom into a sewing room for my mom. This will make a "suite" for my mom at the back of the house. She will have her sewing room, bathroom and bedroom all alone where no one else uses those rooms. Nice huh? I am glad as she needs the space too. We should have the sewing room up and in action by Monday of next week. This is something my mom has wanted for some time. CG is leaving most of her things here but just putting them up. Also she is only taking 2 weeks of clothes with her. She can come home every other weekend and change out clothes. (Letting me do her laundry is a plus for her.)

DH was in a tail spin last night with the turn of events. But he has evened out today and we are working on what we need to prepare for. Also planning on all we need to accomplish this weekend end. He will finally have two days off after working for 26 days straight. Maybe we can get enough done that he can sleep most of Sunday.

In the meantime I am gathering clothes for the children. All I had last night was the clothes they had on. I was able to get 2 to 3 outfits each by going to the mom's house for a little while. I still need to purchase some socks and underwear for them all this evening. And hopefully come up with more warm clothes for the babies. I should be able to get them from the mom's house tonight. Our dear neighbor Nessa has also pitched in with outfits. And she is taking in the TF pets so they will be cared for during this time. We do not know what will happen to the mom or dad now.

Please continue to pray for all these people. I am afraid it will get worse before it gets any better.

A bit of quiet time

1st I would like to ask you to visit my
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and these other give aways too!
Thank you.


Today life seems quiet. We are all waiting to hear of any outcome for our family with the twins. Still do not know how the dad is doing at the hospital. Family will not relay any information to the mom. The mom is arriving now with the 2 yr old twins and the 4 yr old boy and the 6 yr old girl before she goes to work at the nursing home. I am going to start referring to this family as the Twin Family (TF). There is all sorts of stories flying around our lil town as to what has happened. And to speculation as to who is at fault. This is not making it any easier for the mom or kids. We are also worried on the custody issues since dad is hospitalized in unknown condition. His family is reported to be here to try and take the kids with them. TF mom has contacted her lawyer but he is not seeming to be concerned til he knows what the police say about it all. Meanwhile the school is not sure what to do since the dad had full custody and mom only visitation. It is just too much at one time.

Otherwise we are doing the same as before. Watching the kids, taking them to school and back here. Trying to keep things here on the same schedule as before. Make it where the kids are not worried. I am working on keeping the house up. It seems like we have been up and down so much here lately. With TF mom living with us for a month. She now has a rental. Just get her moved and this happens. CG is getting ready to leave for a new semester. She currently has one of her BFF here visiting for a week. It feels like a revolving door. LOL Dear Nessa across the street says for a calm house we sure do have a lot going on here.

But for now, the babies are sleeping. The TF kids are watching Blue's Clues. I am making coffee for me and hot tea for my mom. Life is not to loud. And we have a lil time for breakfast before we start getting kids off to school. Oh for these quiet times.

Broken Heart

I have not been on for a couple of days. And today was not very good at all. I have mentioned a few times on here that I do child care. And that the family is going through horrible times now. A divorce will happen and the fighting is non-stop. Well today the children were taken away from me. This was not because I have a not cared for them. Nor that one parent or the other is moving from the area. It was not because the children have good care, good food, lots of love and enjoy being here. It is only because they are mad at each other. And can now use me to hurt the other. These children have been here for a year and a half. The mom found me and placed the children here then. She has always been the one who brings them, pays me and provides for their needs here. Dad has the kids right now so he pulled them out. This is because it will hurt the mom. There is no concern on how it will effect the kids. What care they have always had. That life is in an up roar and this is a steady place that stays calm. The kids are not being put first at all. And of course I am hurt. I love them. I miss them. I am worried about how these little ones are handling such a change. They have fighting at home every night. Mom is gone then dad is gone. And now as far as they can tell, we have left them too. I just can't handle this right now.