Where is my Peace of Mind
I am a housewife and mom. But I am also a child care provider and an answering service for a local plumber. So I know that my time at home all day long is productive. Not just here "mooching" off the system. Here lately my peace of mind is being stolen. And I do not know how to stop that or to help with the problem. So I am going to share here even though I really do not think there is an answer but to wait, be patient, loving and caring.
The family I do child care for has 21 month old twin girls, a 4 yr old boy and a 6 yr old girl. The twins are here all day and the boy for half a day. The 6 yr old for about an hour in the late afternoon. I have care for this family for over a year now. So you know we are quite attached to them as they are us. Well the problem is that the parents are having some volatile times and are in the process of splitting up. And as we all known there is not a calm during that time.
He said, She did, They can't, Who knows. But the children are getting the brunt of it as we all know. Fighting, police called out, in and out of the house, mom is home or dad is home but always uproar every evening. The girl is hiding, the boy sleeping too much and the twins are clinging to us ever so hard. Mom tells me this, Dad tells me that, I tell them I am the child care provider and do not need to be put in the middle. They need to stop fighting, sit and discuss what to do for kids and household. But no, drinking instead of coping, yelling instead of talking and demanding without listening. My ears hurt, my heart aches, my back is burdened and my emotions are getting raw. We hug the girls, let the boy rest, allow the girl to have her quiet.......and we keep waiting. Three months now and no end in sight. They can not get a legal separation in our state. Have overspent their accounts. No divorce for months even if they could afford a lawyer now. One has lost out on college. The other is putting job second. Not any real family around for support.
I am a mom and housewife. I am nurturing and want to help. I clean by instinct as a nest must not have mess in it. My hubby works 75 hrs a week/7 days a week now. My college girl has to study and give all to school. My mom has a new heart condition and should not be doing much. Stress is in all lives but we try hard to keep it calm here. To have a quiet that is not a silence. I do the majority of all the housework and cooking. I do the majority of the child care and phone service. I do not know if I can keep the balance though. Of calm quiet home and uproar that spills in every time the parents bring or pick up the kids.
I know there is not a solution to a bad thing happening. But it has been weighing in on me. So I needed a place to talk. Thanks for letting me.