Broken Hearts Need Healing

Sometimes we just can not find the words to tell someone how we care.  Or to give them solace from the harm that is there.  A child's mind can understand but still questions what he hears.  So with this we can try and help begin the repair.

Daddy's Not Coming Home by Jeremy LeBon and Illustrated by Morgan Griffin is a book that we wish was not needed.  Sadly it is.  With kindness, gentle words and soft paintings a story unfolds to explain what has been told.  Though this is not a story for many, it is a story that many need to hear.  And with great forethought it may be just what starts the conversation that helps.

This is published by Diamond DMT Publishing.  They are an independently owned, Christian-based Publishing Company whose main purpose is to seek out exceptional talent in the Arts, especially in writing, music, art and photography. And their goal is to assist worthy individuals with a chance to be published, when they may not otherwise have the opportunity to share their works with the world.   I wish to thank them for this book to review.  Now that I am done with it I want to send it to TAPS so that it may be able to help families there.

I felt that this video was a great attribution to this book.  May you be blessed today and remember to always reach out and try to help those around you every day.  You may never know that your the kindness they just needed in that moment.

 

Just Changing Our Perspective & Giveaway

Y'all know I live with Granny M, my 77 year old mom.  And currently Our Gentleman who is 66 and fighting throat cancer lives here too.  Then we have Dear Hubbys mother who has been in and out of the hospital quite a bit in her 81st year of life.  Well, when you have the last generation in life living with you, you also talk about the next step in life.  Death.

Yes, most everyone shields away from that thought.  But hey, it is going to happen.  Have you met anyone who has cheated death for good?  No I don't think so.  I know that sitting with my own father when he was fighting to die was a heart breaking event.  But it was also one of release of pain that brought peace to me too.

Image by UK Pictures via FlickrSo what is it that does just that.  What brings a person peace in knowing they are going to die.  Or how can a family deal with that certainty with both love and a inner calmness?  For most it is a belief.  That they are going on the next journey of life.  One that they take from their soul instead of the body.  There are different beliefs and different ways of dealing with it.

Neil Hanson shares the truths that came to him in 'Peace at the Edge of Uncertainty' (his first book) when his own father passed.  I am glad that a few years have passed since my dad left but this book was one to touch that well of indecision that I had at first.  It was so soul wrenching hard to "wake" my father from a drug induced coma (to keep him out of pain) only to tell him that he was going to pass instead of get better.  He went into that coma willingly thinking that a surgery was going to help him.  We only found out afterwards that no surgery would happen due to the acceleration of his disease.  And that to be in any kind of waking form he would be in unbearable pain.  Holding his hand as Dear Hubby explained the results to my father, we faced a swirl of emotions and quick acceptance from him.  Not so much as he had already known this, but more so of if it was going to happen then let's go ahead and start that journey.  My Dad looked at life that way, straight forward, shoulders back and ready to take what was coming with grace.  So why would I not think he would take death the same way.

Neil tells in his book, "As the crush of grief washed out of me and the sense of detachment grew, I began to feel incredibly light and bright.  The dance that I had just experienced had left behind a brightness to the world, and the Soul within me continued to sing with the angels that I could still hear in the distance."  That section alone said what I had felt at the time of Dad's passing.  The fight with life was over finally.  The gasp for breath that wracked his body in pain, released.  And in that moment of deep sadness of loss I also experienced a wonderful peace.  Like I was cleansed from the inside from tears and all that was left was the shining love that I had for my Dad.

I do not think anyone wants to make those last decisions for their loved ones.  But they have to be made.  Weather if it be in early discussion of our desires.  We have a few of these very discussion with our parents as well as with our children for ourselves.  Or in a sudden fight of death, that we have to make quick ones for those we love.  Still they have to be faced.  What takes us through that process and still leaves us a peace.  The general belief is just that a belief.  In a better place like heaven.  Many feel that the energy of the soul will be sent back into the spirit of the world.  Some think that it is just over, finished.  But I do not know anyone who does not have so sort of belief.  We all fight over who is right and who is wrong.  That does not help.  Instead it is important to honor the soul within us.  The energy that creates our own lives.  That 'knowing' of what we feel at peace with is right.

In a world of highly effective medicine and life-support, Neils family faced the difficult and wrenching questions our culture must face:

• When does life begin and end? 
• What are the complexions of distinction between bare and primitive "life" on the one hand, and "human-ness" on the other hand? 
• Where and when and how do we "play God" with our decisions to withhold feeding tubes and respirators? 
• How do we face these questions, and work our way to effective answers?

My own father professed not to have a belief in a greater 'God'.  But at the very end of his life he did decide to find a peace for himself and made a commitment in his soul.  It may seem light but Dear Hubby and I tease about the many lil ol ladies in church.  "Studying for the finals" is a statement often said.  College Girl combines her own beliefs of Christian thought and a base of Wicca.  And my dear girlfriend at the end of her boyfriends life, stopped crying for him, stood up and said well he is no longer.  I have grieved over his life.  Now is time to live so let's go get ice cream.  What your spirit guides you to feel is very personal.  But it is in that feeling we all unite.

How our view changes when we do not see the familar.  

The world is set off center or we awake to the beauty that has surrounded us all along.

Just changing our perspective.

What a way to learn what we know anew.

--Lenore Webb

Thanks to Neil Hanson and Tribute Books for sharing 'Peace at the Edge of Uncertainty' with me.  I believe that had I read this before my father's passing I would have had a lil relief from the fear I experienced.  This is certainly a book that will help start conversations with your family.  And hopefully bring some answers at to what is believed and desired.  As always no pay, just a book that helped south my soul.

Yes!  Neil is giving a paperback to the first to comment on your post and a free ebook to all who comment on your post.

Following please find the info:

PAPERBACK GIVEAWAY (U.S. only)
1 copy of the paperback version of the book to the FIRST person who leaves a comment on a blog along with an email address.

EBOOK GIVEAWAY (International)
Copy of the ebook version of the book (in choice of format) to EVERY person who leaves a comment on any blog review along with an email address during the month of September 2011.

GIVEAWAY ENTRY REQUIREMENT
All entrants will automatically be subscribed to Neil Hanson's email newsletter. Contact information is NEVER shared, and subscribers can unsubscribe at any time.

Traveling through The Hole In The Sky

I have told you that as a child I loved to escape by reading. Heck I still do. Well I loved my latest escape. I went on a trip in The Hole in the Sky. This is a book that I want to share with Nessa's daughter. (Alas I am too late as she is already reading the story too!) But I wanted to see if it was right for her. It does seem a pretty deep story but I have to say I was sure drawn in. So you may want to share it with a preteen to early teen. (Hint Hint Crazee Juls!) I do know this is going to be a Christmas present along with a butterfly pendent. (Read the story and you will share the significance of the butterfly pendent.) I love the message of how love can be a healing power from loss. And to share with a child how to love and grow through grief.

The tragic 9/11 events and the death of one of Barbara Mahler’s closest clients prompted Mahler, a traditional medicinal healer, to write a book about the healing power of love and beauty of the human spirit. Drawing on her vivid storytelling skills, she wrote The Hole in the Sky, the first novel in a trilogy for children ages 8-13. The journey begins as 13-year-old Kaela Neuleaf struggles with grief over her mother’s death and her father’s emotional withdrawal. When she finds a mysterious butterfly pendant and her mother’s old diary with the words “When you go through the hole in the sky, stay only as long as absolutely necessary,” Kaela believes that the magical life she longs to experience may actually be possible. Barbara is currently working on the second book of the trilogy. Sea Turtle Publishing donates a portion of the profits of The Hole in the Sky to conservation organizations. And 100% of the wood products are derived from the Forest Stewardship Council.

Oh No, It Is Time for Decisions

Well Dear Hubby called me the other day with some heart stopping information.

Image by amanky via Flickr

Oh yes, the dreaded LIFE INSURANCE questions.

He is shopping for life insurance quotes for him and me. Now I understand why we need to have life insurance. But it still has put me further into the middle age group. Not that I need any reminders of the gray hair I keep covering up with Ms. Clariol.

But to know it is time to be serious about our plans for our future is heart stopping. Life is no longer just the bowl of cherries but what to do with the pits too. I am sure we can find cheap life insurance that will fit into our really tight budget. And I know it is very important for us to have. Even more so with the multiple heart issues DH has. So keep your fingers crossed that you are not ready for the bigger decision. Like how to make choices as to your worth or what type of funeral plans we may need one day.

On my Front Porch Once Again

Hello all, I am home again. And ever so glad. This last week has been the most stressful I have had for some time. It was good to see my friend the Latin Lady. But I have had to do things that most people do not do it a normal course of a day. The circumstances are a bit odd in her relationship that has just tragically ended. Her boyfriend had estranged himself from most people including his own child. So this week I have had to find and contact an old friend of his and advise that she was the executrix of his estate and he was at deaths door. This is after a 2 year gap since she had heard from him. I also had to FIND and contact his daughter. Let her know from a complete stranger who hardly knew her father that he has been ill for some time now, has been in the hospital and is at deaths door while leaving the message on an answering machine. Not the way you do things. By the time she returned my call he had passed. So then I was telling her of that. And that she had to make two quick decisions. One did she wish to donate his body to science as he wished and if so please call the medical center ASAP as she is the only relative. And two, that his apartment will need to be vacated in one week and she is the one to inherit his estate. I felt so sorry for this woman. She did not ever get to make peace with her father. Never did get to say good bye and she had strangers advising her of a tragic time in her life. Horrid events.

Also this week I had cleaned my Latin Lady's home for her. She is a very ADD lady while I am so OCD in return. We had a meal with a neighbor who became very drunk and argumentative. All the other guest left and I was stuck cleaning up while trying to keep the peace with someone I did not even know so that no repercussions would come to my friend. My vehicle died and my DH drove 200 miles one way to come and fix it. He is such a wonderful man. The lady who was the executrix of the estate accidentally took my car keys and I had to find her again and retrieve them. Oh it was just really unreal. I was so stressed that by Thursday all I could do was keep my self from throwing up all day. Finally on Friday all was settled so it could be handled by the ones now in charge. My friend handles death quite well. She is amazing on the uptake. So I felt safe to leave her to her own resources and return home.

I was racing down the highway to get back to my family and friends here. I thank Nessa for helping keep all afloat here too. My mom helped with the house and meals. She planted lots of herbs for me too. How loving. My DH worked his lil self to pieces so he deserved all the loving he got last night. My CG let me pick her up on the way home and bring her here for the weekend. And I even found home made peach ice cream being sold on the side of the highway too.

Thank you dear followers, fans, stalkers and friends for hanging in there. And life will return to normal soon. Wait wait, is there a normal?

Stop the Presses

OK, OK! I can breath a little better today. I don't know how but my Latin Lady was led to believe her boyfriend was honestly at deaths door this weekend. Time to call in the executrix and the sort. This morning we meet with his main doctor (you know how they all have so many) to discuss the life ending issues.

SHOCK--SURPRISE--NO WAY!

He told us a much different story. Continue with treatment, some dialysis, and we should see a marked improvement in a few days to a week. Now he is still quite serious in his illness. But not so that we are to start looking at what to do to allow him to leave us. And a very good chance of a full recovery.

What a head spin this was. I am still going to stay here with my friend til next Monday. She is all alone with this issue going on. No family in the area and her boyfriend does not have any either. Going to work on organizing (I can do that) her house and some school stuff. Also make sure she is eating and resting too. I feel she is in for a long haul for this illness. Will not be surprised if I come back up within a month either.

In the meantime please keep praying and sending good will for this man and my Latin Lady. I also would not mind a little myself. Y'all have a blessed day too!

Life and Death and All the in between

Nessa thanks for taking care of my blog and all the great friends I have here. I am just popping in and updating as to what is going on. Prayers please as I don't think I can take one more emergency!

Well this morning as you know was harried. What with a visitation and funeral for my Great Uncle. Then popping on the road to get to my girlfriend who is dealing with her own tragic events. It was great to see CG for a quick drive by. She share half her lunch with me for on the road. So sweet. I drove all the way with just one potty break. You should be ever so proud of that. I am! And when I arrived Latin Lady was just finishing up on picking some things out of her sweeties place. We went back and reread the will. To make sure we did know who to call and where she is no longer responsible. You know that her sweetie was very specific in his decisions. Tomorrow morning if he is not responsive still then the discussion of when to go on just massive pain killers and sedation. Then to stop all life support. So hard to do even if you know it was his wish.

We could not find a good address or phone number for the executor of the estate. Looking on line (a fellow blogger at that) we found 3 blogs of different ages. And also 7 different emails. Well finally one of them worked. No idea which one did. But she called us and we started with the info that she needed and catching her up as to what has happened thus far. Then we went out to my car to go have some dinner. And the car would not start!!!! Battery OK but key not working. I called DH and he informed me he dropped the key and key fob in the water about 3 days ago. Well there are computer chips in them and maybe they fried??? So he then finished his second job of the day. And is now on his way to his 200 mile trip here to bring the other key we have. Praying that is all that is wrong. DH also found our youngest kitty, Tom Kitty, had been hit by a car tonight. So he had to make arrangements with our housemate as to burial.

I have to say as of right now I am on pins and needles. I am not sure what is going to happen next. And if the past 24 hrs is any indication than it could not be any good. My girlfriend, Latin Lady, is currently trying to curl up and get some rest. I am waiting up for phone calls from DH to make sure he knows where he is going. He has never driven this route before. I am always the one who drives in this metropolis.

Just one big pile of nerves who is trying hard to stay very calm for my girlfriend. She has enough to handle without any extra worries from me.

UPDATE: DH CALLED AND IS GOING TO WAIT TIL TOMORROW AFTER HIS MAIN JOB TO COME. GIVE SECOND JOB NOTICE TO FIND REPLACEMENT. AND DRIVE DURING DAY TIME. THANK GOD.

Hiatus

I am away and hopefully Nessa may be doing a guest blog.

Life has interrupted me by putting death at my door step.

I attended a funeral of my great uncle today. And he was GREAT!

And now am 200 miles away helping my friend with her lovers impending death. So please excuse me.

Taxes are Due

1st I would like to ask you to visit my
100 item give away blog
and these other give aways too!
Thank you.

My brother contacted me today about my dad's taxes for 2008. I am not sure you would remember but I lost my dad in February. His taxes are now our responsibility. I am not sure how I am going to pay for them. My brother inherited his house but had to let it go. He did not have the means to pay for the mortgage. And in this market was not able to sell it in time to save the house. So there is not an income from that to help with the taxes.

You see my dad did not have mortgage insurance on his home. Nor did he have life insurance. If he had used a company like NAA Life, we would not be in this situation. I started looking up information online for DH and I. You see I too need to get this insurance to protect my own CG. So I started checking out what was available. That is how I found NAA Life. I did not even know we could have mortgage insurance before reading on this site. Our home is purchased on a for sale by owner program. So I do not have a mortgage company that could have told me about this. I have found how important it is to take care of my CG in all circumstances. For this is my responsibility and would be my reassurance too.

I also need to get life insurance for me. DH has this through work. But as a SAHM on disability I do not have that option. So it is time for me to look at what I can do. I do not want CG to one day be in my shoes. Having inherited a house only to loose it. Or to have to pay for my debts due to me not taking care to provide. This sure would give me peace of mind. I hope to leave her "a piece of paper" that is really an investment for me and her.

Do you have any insurance? On your home? Life? Who would you want to protect?

Robert A McPeak

I have lost my daddy now. I was so happy to find him and have him in my life. His unconditional love had healed so many of my wounds. He gave me respect and acceptance in his gentle way. The time we had was so short--just a few years. And it hurts so to never have his touch, hear his voice or see his reassuring eyes. The love my daddy gave his granddaughter was infinite. He delighted in the sight of her. To have her share her hopes, dreams and goals with him was like children playing. My daddy also loved my mom. He gave her the caring she had never known before. My brother came home to my daddy again. That was beautiful. To see those two men together. One standing tall, young and with the future before him. The other to be sitting there stooped yet fulfilled with his life. Thank you bubba for being with daddy. A family has been joined together. One that never existed before. One that can grow and thrive. A family to carry on a name, a history....a life. I miss my daddy already. I will miss him always. But I am so happy to have had my daddy. God please bless and keep him always.

Robert (Bob) Alan McPeak passed away February 16, 2008 of natural causes. Born at Oxnard, California March 6, 1939 Mr. McPeak was 68 years of age. He was preceeded in death by his mother Wilma Rupp, his father Chester McPeak and his sister Virginia Harms. Bob served our country in the U S Army and the U S National Guard leaving with an Honorable Discharge. He was owner of Glory Graphics specializing as a Graphic Artist, Editor and Art Director for local papers The Police News, The Gull n Herons, Pet Talk and The Gambler. Bob also was the Graphic Artist and Editor for several books by local writer, Jim Stevenson. Mr. McPeak was an employee of The Mirror in Texas City for many years and before that was a professional photographer/owner of Clear Lake Photography. The family and friends of Robert Alan McPeak held a memorial at the Travel Lodge in Texas City on February 17, 2008. Robert McPeak is survived by his son Jason McPeak, daughter in law Jennifer McPeak, granddaughter Jenna Silies all of Webster, Texas. His daughter Lenore Webb, son in law John Webb, granddaughter Jennifer "Denea" Little and special friend Margrette Keough all of Comanche, Texas. His brother Michael McPeak and sister in law Sydney McPeak of Wichita, Kansas. And by cousins, nieces and nephews through out the United States. "Penny Bright", Bob's constant companion, will be cared for by Margrette Keough. As many friends will say, "Mr. Bob was a good neighbor, caring friend and will be missed by all!"