What to do, what to do, what to do
Oh man I don't even know which way to turn. Anger is burning through me. I don't know weather to just come unglued or to do my best to keep a calm rational mind here. Nothing happened in a way but at the same time the intent was there. And my waking up is what stopped it from going any farther. Of course I had to just get up and leave right then. Make sure safety was installed. Then to deal with it all. Men who are drunk and can't seem to sober up fast just make me madder. Why is it a woman can see a situation and boom she is right back to game face and doing what has to be done. And it seems men just wonder around lost. Have to deal with others also. What do I do. Do I talk? I feel like the abuse victim all over again. Yet I was not the intended target at all. Dancing around is not my style. Families can sure mess up life. No wonder I am always wondering why I have to deal with them. So much easier to create your own families from the people you choose to be in your life. Last night was suppose to be fun. Friends showing up to make my husband happy. Show him they are glad he is here. Support and good times. But of course unexpected family shows up and then this happens. She is safe. Not in my home right now. But safe. Yeah dashing out in the middle of the night to take her to someone else's home. Makes me feel like I am really doing my job--NOT! Oh men! Bonding between them, brothers. Where do you break in. How much do you deal with. Starts pulling in more and more. Was way over the line. Anger with a sweet smile on it. Go through the actions. Hi, welcome, choke and gag. Make me ill with deceit. Support your family girl. Be mom, be wife, be all yet don't show it all. Keep what your suppose to inside. She is safe for now. Where do we do what we need to do? Have no idea right now.
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Like I swallowed the moon and the stars and I just shine now!