Be Myself if I can Stay Awake

Well I said I was not sure what to do or how to handle a situation. And of course when I just did what comes naturally all worked out. Be straight forward and don't mince words. So I did and he answered and all was made crystal clear. No room for imaginations or miscommunication. No I was not happy with the evening in question. And my point is very clear. So now we go on with life. So my next step is that I need to get more motivation and energy going. Here it is summer and I am just crashing on a daily basis. I wonder if all the stress from the last 6 weeks is now effecting me. It seems like I held on all I could before but now I am exhausted. Hubby does not fuss about it. Thankfully. Nor does my darling dedicated teen daughter. I could not ask for better from them. So it is time to figure out how I am going to make a come back. First I have to get my medication refilled also. Then take it regularly. That is the hardest part. To take it I have to eat. And that is even harder to do. Eating has always been hard. Lots of guilt there. Enjoy food with people but never alone. Eat out of loneliness and bordom then. But sleep same way. Today was glad that my daughter was gone and hubby at work. So I could hide in my bedroom and sleep most of the day. Hard to wake up though. Sleep so much then want to keep sleeping then. Feels good to just disappear that way. And time passes and you don't notice it. Depression setting in. I know it but don't seem to have the energy to fight it. Slept for several hours today and am ready to go back to bed already. Only been up about 2 hours since the 3 hour long nap. This is not good.

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps if you are able to walk, get out, move around, before the heat of the day sets in. I am so proud of your strength.


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