Temper Tantrums

I told you that my niece, her husband and three children are staying with us for a time. Hopefully they will have luck and find work and a home of their own in a timely manner. I love them but having 5 more people in your home is not an easy thing to do.  Now they are doing great about not being underfoot.  And sharing and caring and all that ing stuff.  But I am old and Granny M even older still, and we are set in our ways a bit.  So when a child sassies you back or just is plain ol rude and mean....well that does not go over too well.

 Last night our lil 3 year old did what she does best and told Granny M, No! Go Away! and I don't have TOO!  Granny M had her full already and scooped up said 3 year old and popped her hinney.  Oh the screaming that went from there was horrid.  You would have thought that the 3 year old never had a hinney pop.  Well guess what, she hasn't.  Her mom (my niece) does not want to tell her no, make her mind or upset her because she is afraid that if so her darling lil 3 year old may not love her.  WHAT?

Now my mom made me mind,  I was put in time out, corners, grounded, hinney popped and so forth.  And I always loved her.  Never thought not to love my mom.  You know, the same person that also handed out hugs, kisses, warm moments and tender loving care too.  Parenting is not a popularity contest.  It is about raising a child the way they should go.  And that includes discipline.

Oh so I am ever ever ever giving my niece the book 'How to Unspoil Your Child Fast' by Richard Bromfield, Ph. D. because she needs it!  Yes, it is not too late to fix this issue.  No I am not saying to start beating her child....no way.  But setting limits, standing firm to your decisions and not being an overindulgent parent is the way to go.  Here she can read with empathetic and still good practical parenting advice on how to improve their lives all around.  Oh, and she has a 2 month old baby too.  Let's nip this in the bud before there is a whole out rebellion and the parents lose it all together. 





I am all for ways that they can learn to take back their control in a loving fashion.  On how they can get their daughters attention and exercise discipline consistently.  Oh that is the key folks.   Of course holding their ground rules and not making deals or bargains for good behavior.  This will also improve their daughter's life.  You are aware that spoiled children are prone to depression and anxiety.  Yeah, they are.  If a child does not ever know where the boundaries are then they do not know what is safe and what is not.  Like in the pool, there is that rope with floats telling you that this is the deep end.  And so you know if you go there your feet will not touch and under you will go.  Well, children need to know where is that place in life.  How far is safe.  This gives them security and helps them move forward one toe touch at a time.  Learning how to paddle in the water and finally making those first swimming stokes.  So that one day when they are in the deep end, they can swim back safely to shore. 


I am blessed to have this book sent to me by Sourcebooks, Inc.  Now I am going to put it on my niece's pillow and see if she has some time to read.  Maybe I can take the kids to the park today and let her have study time.


5 comments:

  1. I am so with you on this one. I know a few parents who need this book. Everyone is trying to be their kids best friends instead of their parent. You can be their friend when they are older and know right from wrong. I lived through a few good ole fashioned butt whoopings and so has my daughter. You can truly tell the ones who lived through that from the ones who got their way.

    GOOD FOR GRANNY M, YOU GO GIRL!!

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  2. Hi Lynette!
    I found your blog last night and started following and this morning when I got up and saw this post I just knew I had to come read it! It is so hard to have a another branch off the family tree stay with you, complete w/ their adorable unruly children.The book sound wonderful, even though I'm a grandmother I'd still like to read it myself. Unfortunately though your niece may take offense at the thought that your insinuating! (although I'm insinuating the same thing you are) Sounds like she doesn't know jack. Oh well, so glad I found your blog. I took that test that's on your badge and I got the same, "The Loyal Friend" Bye, Lauren

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  3. I agree with you. I believe in boundaries and rules. My youngest grand son was always one to push the limits, except with me...He did what was expected. Once my daughter told him I was coming to baby sit and the 2 year old little boy replied, "help me." He knew he would be following the rules that day. LOL

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  4. I agree with you about kids, boundaries and rules. Going to recommend this book to my daughter!!

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  5. LOL! Now I know why you haven't gotten back with me. I've been thinking about coming over, but for some reason something kept getting in my way. Let me know when you will have some "free time" ok?

    Love ya Bunches!
    PJ

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