Oh how I hate to tell myself how wrong I am.  Don't you?  I mean when we see that we screwed up and let ourselves get out of line.  Then we have to admit that we screwed up and that we have to fix it.

For me it is that I have become selfish in my heart, letting pride get in the way of a joyful heart.  The Lord loves an obedient servant and that many times our obedience has to rest upon faith.  And tonight I have wrestled with sleep trying to see just this.  That obedience is not always easy but it is essential to keeping those promises you make to the Lord.

If we let pride stop us from doing what is right, we can miss some of life’s greatest joys.  And isn't that just what selfishness is....pride?  Pride that "I" can do it better, "I" am able to accomplish more, "I" all "I"!  When you think only of yourself then you find that you are no longer joyful but most often sad, lonely and hurt.  In that place is where I found that I had done this to myself.  

Now let me clear it up in a way.  Yes, people around me did things that made me have to scramble quickly to help out.  It did create some anxiety in me.  But instead of me becoming full of my own self, I should have looked at the blessing of helping someone else. Feeding on selfishness corrodes our self-image and our peace. It destroys relationships.

It says in the Old Testament, "Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom." Proverbs 13:10  Yes, wisdom is just what I need.  To be wise enough to see that I have been asked to be a servant for someone else for a short time.  And in doing so it made their task easier to carry.  For I am not a servant to them like a slave, but instead as a friend.  Friends help each other carry the load.  Sometimes by grabbing the other side and at times just hefting it up on their shoulders while the other rest.

I am also reminded that "A fool’s lips enter into contention..." Proverbs 18:6.  Here is that little voice that raises up to complain "Why Me?"  Oh how easy it is to get on that soap box and beat our chest as we fuss about how hard something is.  But gosh, isn't it the other way around.  We should be up on that box hollering out...."Hey, how can I help?"  "What do you need?"  or better yet, "I love you!"  Then we can feel happiness and joy in our deeds instead of bitterness.  

Does this mean to lay down and be a door mat?  No, it means to look at your days and find out how your being used to help others out.  And know that the Lord not only blesses us for that joyful spirit that we reach out in but that he commands us to be there for each other.  

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.  Matthew 25:40

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