The Work of Happiness

Hey folks.  How are y'all doing tonight?  Me?   Well I am on a new med.  This damp dank dark dreary dang winter has me so depressed.  I am always hiding the tears that are just at the edge of my eyes.  I hate this feeling.  You see besides having my big ol gammit of mental issues I am also SAD.  Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that occurs at a certain time of the year, usually in the winter.
English: A 30 kHz bright light therapy lamp (I...
I want a therapy lamp used to treat seasonal affective disorder.  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So I went to my Doctor and we added a new medication to my handful that I already take.  It is one that has to build up in my system.  Hopefully it will only be one I have to do in the winters and I am already praying for the sun to peek it's head out.  Dear Hubby is aware of the multitude of side effects that could happen.  He will let me know if any start showing up as often I am in the throes of acting out to notice that it is from my illness that is causing it.   The new meds also can make me quite sleepy thus it is a bedtime med so hopefully that will be a benefit for me.

I do not tell too many people how hard it is for me to be happy.  Most people around here just think I am a happy person.  But it is a daily and often a hourly or minute by minute choice I make.  With my mental illness, bi-polor and chronic depression adding in the current dealings of SAD, I am really wanting to pull out my hair, scream at the top of my lungs and burst into tears.  Instead I am doing my all time best to smile, give out compliments and find ways to keep busy helping others.  I am telling you it is a choice and a chore at times to be happy. 


2 comments:

  1. You do a wonderful job. I'm always so impressed by the things that you do. :)

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  2. I thought you were somewhat subdued today. There is some kind of sun lamp thought to help suffers of SAD. Before you know it, the sun will be shining, birds will be singing, and butterflies will be buttering. di

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