We Are Not So Different

Here I sit on the cusp of my 50th birthday and yet still I am just a small child inside.  Do you find yourself feeling that way sometimes?  Like no matter how the years go by, your still caring for a lil one inside from all the harms and ills that happened long ago.  Maybe it is the manifestation of being an abused child.

In all of this I felt I needed to talk it out.  Thankfully I have a good friend who I thought could give me wise counsel.  Normally I would talk to one of my girlfriends but this time maybe a man could give me the strength I need inside to get over some of the harm.  So in sharing my sadness I found out that once again I was not alone.  It has seemed that when I have shared that I survived sexual abuse for over 6 years of my formative years with women that they often have had some of the same things happen.  Not all but here and there we have connected to form a  bond, sisterhood and shared hurt and healing.  This time my dear friend shared with me that HE too was a victim.  This broke my heart because he is such a kind loving soul.  I adore his automatic desire to help when he hears of a problem at the same time always smiling with a twinkle in his eyes.  To know he knows the feeling of shame, self loathing and sadness broke my heart.

But as we all know we learn together.  This time I had a bit of help to share.  Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe shared a book with me via Litfuse that I then shared with my friend, Not Quite Healed: 40 Truths for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse.  He sat and looked through this book seeing advice and kinship unfold page after page.  It was noticed that so much of what he read was like his Celebrate Recovery meetings.  Another affirmation that healing comes from within.  We are all torn up in different ways when we are attacked.  Yet women and men view many things both the same and separate.  The worst part is feeling alone and desperate.  Having a aid to help you heal is always worthy.  Be it a hand to hold or a book to read.  Each piece of advice can help one reach inside and care for that small child that needs to be put back into a whole creature.  Nurtured and loved even at the age of 50.

40 Truths for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
How are sexual abuse survivors to overcome the challenges they are sure to face? Finding strength in community with other survivors is one key to recovery. In Not Quite Healed, co-written with Gary Roe, two survivors join forces to share insight and encouragement on the issues that challenge them most. After a candid discussion about each issue, the authors provide a self-affirming statement that men can study, memorize, and recite on their darkest days.

Cecil Murphey has written or coauthored more than one hundred books, including the autobiography of Franklin Graham, "Rebel with a Cause" and the New York Times best-seller "90 Minutes in Heaven." Cecil lives in Georgia and travels extensively to speak on topics such as writing, spiritual growth, caregiving, significant living, sexual abuse, and recovery. Prior to launching his career as a full-time writer and speaker, he served as pastor of Riverdale Presbyterian Church in Metro Atlanta, as a volunteer hospital chaplain for ten years, and was a missionary in Kenya for six.

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