Having found my Mr. Right (after a couple of misses) I know that what I was always looking for was not amazing excitement at all. But instead a steady every day of my life reassurance of being loved. Now this is not what all people need, but is what I need. I am so thankful that Dear Hubby always tells me he loves be before he leaves, upon returning and every night at bed time. It is not necessary as I know he loves me but it is very reassuring. From this frame of mind I am so looking forward to our retirement years. That every day life that is perfect due to the normalcy of the days. Not the highs and lows but the in between is what we treasure the most.
Now how did you find your 'right one' or are you still looking? Is this something you think about when bringing up your kiddos? Just how do you teach that thinking? Is there a way to help learn what to do as well as what not to do? Nicole of Tribute Books invited me on a tour of Charles Johnson's book How to Find the Right One & Make it Last. Ahhhh! I should have had this book years ago. At the same time I seem to have found the right one for each stage of my life and do not regret the partners I have been with. One was perfect so I could finish growing up in safety. I can never thank him enough for that. The second gave me and helped raise an amazing daughter. What could be more perfect. And now my third (and last) is my best friend, partner, lover, buddy and best of all support system. I never parted with my past partners in hate and stayed friends with them til they were no longer. Princess Emma's dad is my ex-hubby (#2) and I see him still almost every week.
It may sound confusing but what I know now is that our family is who we make it. That being happy is something you have to focus on. And we can always grow from any situation good or bad. Now that I have rambled enough let's read a lil more of Charles Johnson and how we can find the right one and best of make it last!
For the millions of singles around the world who have struggled to find the right one or to maintain a lasting relationship, my book, “How to Find the Right One & Make it Last” provides a tutorial on the lost art of dating. “How to Find the Right One and Make it Last: Bring Love and Romance Back to Dating” offers practical advice for both men and women about how to initiate interaction as well as how to respond in various dating situations. In addition to the book, I created a website, http://www.AskCharlesJohnson.com, where my readers can have easy access to relationship advice and personal coaching at any time. I have been officially and unofficially helping clients and colleagues find personal success. Over the years, I have developed a proven set of principles and concepts that have helped singles looking for love not only find their ideal life partner, but also to keep the relationship fresh and thriving. Over the years, I have watched my colleagues work incredibly hard to achieve professional success, but often struggle to find that same level of success in their personal lives. By applying the same discipline from their professional development to fine-tuning their dating skills, these colleagues transformed their lives and found the personal fulfillment that had previously been so elusive. My book provides step-by-step guidance starting with how an individual can make small changes in their personal style and appearance or to their daily routine to improve the odds of finding their ideal partner. I walk readers through the first call, planning the perfect date, and what to say and do on the date. Everything first starts with a clear idea of what each individual is looking for – as well as what they’re not – to provide a guide along the way. The principles don’t stop once a match has been made. The book provides advice for nurturing relationships for the long run. By walking readers through the seven phases of relationships, I explain how and why they change over time and how to keep them growing strong. --Charles Johnson
KNOW WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
(from the book How to Find the Right One & Make it Last )
Many people are unsuccessful in finding the "right partner" because they do not know what they are looking for in a partner. They have not spent enough time clearly defining what traits, characteristics, or features they prefer their future partner to have. Equally—if not more importantly—people also need to decide which traits they do not want in a potential partner. Let me introduce you to my friend Michael, who found himself frustrated and wondering about his future and finding the right person.
Michael had just completed graduate school in Texas. He was handsome, smart, well dressed, and equipped with a master's degree in hospital administration from one of Texas's most prestigious universities and a new high-paying job in Tulsa, Oklahoma. One night not long after graduation, Michael found himself with his old college buddies in a local bar, enjoying a night of drinks and hoping to find a great woman to be with.
After Michael surveyed the bar scene, he quickly realized this could end up being his daily personal life going forward. He had already achieved great scholastic and initial career success but found his life lacking in the personal area. He started talking to himself, saying, "Am I going to spend the rest of my life looking at barflies, hoping to find the right woman to complete my life and raise a family with?" Michael suddenly became depressed and quickly realized he was going to have to put some serious time into his personal life if he was going to escape the life of a single professional who cruised the bars nightly, looking for someone special. He knew he needed to sit down and determine exactly what he was looking for in a woman and where best to find her.
He did not want just anyone; he wanted someone special to love and spend the rest of his life with. Michael knew he wasn't about to find that kind of woman in the bars he and his friends frequented. Michael identified the traits and qualities that were important to him and ended up getting back together with his college sweetheart. He realized that she had everything he was looking for. He married her after recognizing she would complete his dreams, love him faithfully, enhance his life, and build the family he imagined.
The moral of this story is quite simple: Michael took the time to discover what he didn't want, which made it much easier to determine what he did want in a partner—and then he could make the right decision in his selection.
So many people make the mistake of trying to find the right partner before they determine what they are really looking for. You have to start by doing a little homework—nothing too difficult or time-consuming but something that will improve your search and selection efforts by at least tenfold. With that kind of increase in your chances for success, isn't it worth doing a little up-front work? You do it all the time in your job, so why not do it in your personal life as well?
Charles Johnson's Bio:
Lenore, what a beautiful post! And a pic of Dear Hubby to boot - love it! Thanks for the review :)
ReplyDeleteHow awesome is it to find Mr Right? I too have found my Mr Right! My safety net, my best friend, my lover, my strongest supporter and my strength when I seem to have lost it all. He is one of two people I would jump out in front of a bus to protect and the one person that I want to grow old with. The one person that I want to be holding onto when I am old and wobbling down the hall of a nursing home.
ReplyDeleteYour love for John reminds me so much of the way I feel for my man!!
Hi. This is interesting. Thanks for sharing. I wish my husband would tell me all the time that he loves me because I can't believe until I hear it.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome to our blog anytime and tell us what you think.