Deep End of the Pool

Did you ever think that raising children is like swimming in the deep end of the pool?  Well it is a way I sorta look at things.  I am talking about boundaries here.  Kids will say they do not want rules but they do.  Honestly!  For without them they are swimming in the deep end of the pool.  And they did not even know how they made it that far out. 

Deep Eddy Pool located at 30.2765° -97.7732°,A...Image via WikipediaLet me explain.  When a child is learning to swim they step out a lil at a time testing the depth with their toes.  Bouncing up and down in the water to see if they can still touch bottom.   Eventually it gets just a lil too deep and under they go.  Spitting, sputtering and all wet now, the child will turn around and get back to where they are safe.  They just found their boundary.  Now as they learn to dog paddle and get around better they can venture out a lil more each time.  But they learn that going past that rope floating in the middle of the pool is where the deep end.  No matter what they do out there they will not have the safety of touching bottom.  We have all see the kids float up to that rope and look longing over it, knowing one day they will be able to venture out that far. 

Well if we do not show them their boundaries with rules in life.  Then I feel we are just throwing them in the deep end of the pool.  That sink or swim mentality.  And that is not the way to raise a child who will feel safe and secure.  Of course they eventually learn how to swim.  Go past the rope and even start jumping off the high dive as they become more and more accomplished.  Just like life.  The rules we give our kids are the testing grounds.  You can go here but farther out is not safe at this time.  And they test that limit.  Many times as a matter of fact.  Til they learn that is where it really is safe to be.  In that safe area, kids can enjoy life.  Play, learn and soak up all around them.  This is where children are happiest at.  Knowing they are loved, cared for and protected. 

An example of that feeling in life is the basis of Hollywood Nobody by Lisa Samson.  Here Scotty, a 15 year old girl, writes in her blog, Hollywood Nobody about the lack of limits in her life.  And how it is illogical of her mother to let her do as she pleases while living an uncommon lifestyle.  Traveling from movie site to movie site with her mother's job, Scotty has not been given boundaries.  Her mother expects her to wing it and make it safely.  Well of course it does not go that way.  I have to say that it was enjoyable to real this novel this last week.  But I cringed at how Scotty had to fend for herself so often.  She had to figure out what and who was safe.  What a responsibility to put on a teens head.  I loved the blogger format that was throughout the story too.  (Of course!)  A good Young Adult read.  This is the first book of four where you can follow Scotty through her travels and as she grows up.

Now, what do you think.  Do you agree that they rope is in the pool for a good reason?  Is there a way you help your kids know the rules and still feel safe.  Are you one of the free thinkers that feels kids will make their way?  How do you approach teaching your kids? 

I received this book free from NavPress Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commision's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."


  1. Boundaries are the most important thing to learn and to teach. Period.

  2. Wow I love the way you have written this! Pool ......boundaries! This would be a very easy way to explain things to kids too!

  3. Some great analogies going on here.

    Rules that make sense and discipline. Wish I'd known that earlier, but at least I know it now!


  4. I think kids need direction and guidance, but from a real-life perspective. I try to give my son examples of my life - like: I know you hate that I am asking you this, I remember wishing my mom would just walk away and not talk to me, however, I want you to know...blahblahblah.
    I don't know if it was best, but my son turned out really good, so I guess something I did was a good thing! :)


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