The Rooster is going to Die!

When my mom called and said she had a rooster and two chickens for me I was so glad. This city girl is finally adjusting to small town life. I was in the process of planning my first vegetable garden and now I would have fresh eggs. Yes! Best of all the birds were free. Then I had to do the tough thing and build a chicken pen. So off I charged to the yard finding this and that of fencing we had been using for the dogs pen. Several hours later I was hot and sweaty but I had learned how to drive t-post and string fence. Okay, it was a funny looking pen but it had shelter and a cover on top. I was ready. The birds were delivered and deposited and I was out throwing chicken feed like any other country lady. Pretty proud that now I really did have a house with a picket fence in front and a garden and chickens in the back. 

So a few weeks pass. I learned how well chickens get out of the pen and how to chase them back. Even had to reinforce the sides and all, but had eggs and a rooster who crowed. I had learned how to make a mud hole on one end of the pen when I went to get eggs. The rooster had spurs and had flown at me a couple of times. But the fence was always what had stopped him. So if I made him mud he would dance around in it and strut around. 

Then it happened. I went to my lovely back yard with my lovely garden and my lovely chickens.  Oh no the rooster was out. Well I had walked the chickens back to the pen several times so let me just help Mr. Rooster back home too. Or so I thought. He had other ideas. Apparently I had not done a good enough job of feeding him. Or not made a good enough mud hole for him. Or something because here he came flying at me and then I started backing up. But he had made contact and caught me good on the leg. Spurred me well on each side. Blood running down my legs must be something that made him madder because he decided to attack again. 

Well I am kicking at him now and trying to get away without turning my back on him. Yelling the rooster is going to die. After another direct hit from the rooster I now had three holes in my leg and one on my arm. Safely inside my home I tended my wounds. My mantra was the rooster is going to die. Well he kept me holed up in the house for several hours. Finally he decided that guarding the doors was a tiring job and it was time to go and attack the lovely garden. So out I come again. But armed with a light blanket. Sure he will attack and all I have to do is throw the blanket on him. Scoop him up and deposit him back in the pen. Easy enough. Well who knew the rooster was on to me. He took off running and flying overhead. No way he was going to get bagged by me. So after looking like the fool running around my yard with a blanket flying around and a rooster trying to see how he can lite on my head, I finally give up. 

Now I am looking for neighbors with guns. Yelling the rooster is going to die. Well having no gun toting rooster killing friends close by I again retreated into the house. Knowing that some way or other that rooster was going to die is what thought took me to bed. With a now gimpy leg and hearing crowing first thing in the morning my resolve was even stronger. Ready to start looking for rooster mafia was my next plan. Then my daughter let me know our lives have been saved. A knight in shining amour with his white steed had arrived to help save us from the tyrant rooster. Forgetting what a small town I am in my plight had been passed around and help had arrived. Venturing into my front yard there stood the local animal control guy with my rooster hanging upside down in his hands. I identified the criminal and verified he had lived here. I willing turned him over to the animal jail. Asking if the rooster was going to die, I was dismayed to hear "no". He is off to live with others on a farm out of town. Well I still go around muttering the rooster has to die. So in effigy I had roast chicken for dinner.

90 comments:

  1. I'm glad I've never met that rooster!!! lol

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  2. Oh.my. Well - it looks like you won anyway! Cock a doodle doo.

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  3. Sounds as though that rooster had some pluck!

    You fared much better than I would have. Seriously.

    Happy SITS day!

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  4. That is why I am not a farmer! No attacking animals please!

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  5. I despise a floggin' rooster. Let's put him in a pot.

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  6. Wow! I didn't realize roosters were that lethal! Glad he's not strutting around your door anymore.

    Happy SITs Day!

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  7. We raised chicks one summer- and they turned into mean, nasty little buggers. I'm glad they all ended up in our freezer! :)

    (on a side note...I would like to raise hens for eggs...I just don't ever want to raise chickens for meat!)

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  8. Greetings and HAPPY SITS DAY to you. Being a featured blogger is a BIG deal. Congratulations...

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  9. This is exactly why I dislike roosters!

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  10. I had a run in with a goose once. Birds are way scarier than they should be.

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  11. I grew up on a farm and had a rooster go after me. My dad "got rid" of him. He said he was too old to eat. I'm certain that some roosters would try to eat us if they were bigger! Others are great, sounds like you got a bad one. Stopped by from SITS, congrats on being featured!

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  12. I've never understood why some people just love birds - all kinds.

    I don't think they're a particular nice breed of animal.

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  13. Happy SITS Day! ;)

    We had 3 roosters with our flock of chickens - hubby got cornered in the chicken coop by the roosters and couldn't get out for about 20 minutes... Sent them off to live on a farm shortly after that, giving some of our blue egg-laying chickens along with the roosters to sweeten the pot. ;) Hubby didn't have to be terrified of going to the chicken coop ever again! ;)

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  14. Happy SITS day. I enjoyed the post. Nothing like a marauding bird story to get my day rolling.

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  15. Glad you got rid of that monster. Those roosters can be nasty. :)

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  16. This makes me wonder why eggs aren't more expensive. What a pain!

    Congrats on your SITS day!

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  17. That is one funny story. I would have gone in the house and found a baseball bat. And to think that when I was little I wanted to have a farm and raise chickens. Fortunately, I watched Green Acres and decided it was much more fun to be Eva Gabor instead.

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  18. over from SITS - happy day!

    This is absolutely hilarious! Roosters, by all accounts that I have heard, are quite mean! They scare me!

    Kill the rooster . . . .

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  19. One more reason to back-up my reasoning for hating birds. Hope your leg is better.

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  20. I never knew a rooster would attack you. I've only heard of roosters fighting other roosters. I guess they are mean little birds. Glad you are ok. Now I know to stay away from them if I ever go to a farm.

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  21. Wow...spurs, mud...I just learned a lot more about roosters than I knew before!

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  22. Roosters are the barnyard equivalent of Mickey Rourke on a bender. Not pretty.

    You defended yourself well with your Jedi rooster-scrappin' skills. For next time: BE the blanket...BE the blanket...

    ;^) Anna

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  23. My dh had a rooster attack him has a child, but my dh, being 5 grab a stick and tried to get back. The rooster will die someday!
    Happy SITS.

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  24. lol! that was a hillariously-told story, but i would have been terrified!!! every rooster i've ever heard about has been nasty!

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  25. I've been attacked by poultry, too. It ain't pretty!

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  26. I have a friend who raises chickens. She gives them all names...MooShu, Fricasee, A La King...

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  27. Yikes! Every story I've ever heard about roosters has been bad. Stinkin' mean birds! Glad you finally got rid of the bugger.

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  28. Yikes!! Crazy rooster! Congrats on your SITS day!

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  29. Happy SITS day! Funny, I have a post up about being attacked by fowl as well...what is WITH these birds!

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  30. I have thought about having chickens. We have a ginormous yard. And there is a play house out back that the girls never use. It would be a perfect hen house. But...I am not so sure about the attack roosters...

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  31. So funny! Reminds me of my dad refusing to eat chicken for years because when he grew up his family kept them in the backyard. We never ever had chicken when I was little and I was a grown woman before I realized you could actually eat them!

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  32. I'm terrified of roosters and this is exactly why!

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  33. Wow...he was after you, huh?!!? That crazy rooster. Happy SITS day to you!

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  34. Rotten rooster!

    Congrats on your SITS feature!

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  35. My neighborhood doesn't allow chickens but just this morning, my hubby was wondering if we could sneak one in. I don't think we could hide an attack rooster though!

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  36. LOL! I've had experiences with roosters too. My grandmother had them. But they became supper if they chased her.

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  37. When I grew up we had roosters and I would have to carry a broom around our yard just to protect myself. Crazy birds!

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  38. That is the second time I heard of mean birds. My daughter was squacked and chased by a bunch of geese once.

    Psychos!

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  39. Sounds like a horror flick! :-)

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  40. The only rooster I like is Foghorn Leghorn! Anybody here old enough to remember that cartoon character? My grandparents always had chickens...and I hated going in that back yard! Your story is too too funny! What kind of self-respecting neighbors don't have guns in Comanche? :)

    Malisa

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  41. I remember my Grandmother's roosters....sometimes we had to tread very carefully! Your story was so entertaining, though I'm sure as you were living it the last thing on your mind was that this is "entertaining"! Thanks for sharing!
    Elaine

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  42. Oh gosh.... we had a rooster when I was little and he was mean.... just like yours!

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  43. What a mean rooster. And after you gave him a home and fed him. The ingrate. Happy SITS day!!!

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  44. Roosters are mean. My friend got attacked by one too. Even though it's probably not fun at the time, it sure makes for funny stories!

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  45. Whoa, that is one nutty rooster! Yikes!

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  46. Haha! Totally funny, and a little scary!

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  47. Great story. I think I would have been terrified. That was one blood thirsty rooster, if you're lucky he'll get his comeuppance at rooster jail. ;)

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  48. Funny story! You're braver than me for going back outside!

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  49. I'm truly sorry you got hurt,but the rooster was just doing his job.He thought he was protecting his home and lady friends.I too was spurred by a rooster when I was a toddler.I still have the scars and I/m 59 yrs old.They just look like dimples.I was very lucky he didn't get my eyes.
    i know I was probably chasing him or his hens.he was just doin his job.My mom did have chicken and dumplings for supper.I still feel bad about it.And of course I don't remember it at all.In the end you would've probably felt guilty.It's a good thing he's going to a farm...Ann

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  50. Roosters are mean! Glad you didn't get too hurt. Happy SITS day!

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  51. Ouch..sorry about the gimpy leg but I have to say I would be laughing hysterically watching you chase that thing down...

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  52. That's a bummer that he wouldn't let you kill it. JK.

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  53. I would have had roasted chicken too. And showed him the leftovers!

    Hope your leg is ok!

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  54. Hey Crazed Mind - I'm here from SITS. Roosters are like wild pigs or something aren't they? My parents never had chickens on their farm but my aunt did and I have many painful memories of those nasty roosters. So nice to meet you today.

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  55. This is the real reason 'kill two birds with one stone' was invented:)

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  56. I'm glad you got rid of that crazy bird!

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  57. YIKES! but now how do you wake up without an alarm clock??

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  58. Happy SITS Day! Geesh and here I was thinking I wanted chickens and a rooster. Not anymore!

    Do the chickens still lay eggs without the rooster?

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  59. Yuck! I can't stand roosters! I'm glad he's gone!

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  60. Visiting from SITS. Happy SITS day!

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  61. Ha, my 7 year old gets into it on a regular basis with our rooster. He has had several spur marks on him. When he comes for me I make sure I have a stick so I can beat him off.

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  62. By the way, congrats on being the featured blog.

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  63. Hey you handled it better than this city slicker would've!

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  64. That is a funny funny story! How do you get your eggs now though?

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  65. Well. Doesn't roast chicken sound lovely right about now. You poor dear!

    Were the chickens ok without their man?

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  66. That is why I hate roosters too. My great grandma had one that attaked me violently when I was three. I've never been the same since. I love my laying hens though. Rhode Island Reds are my fav. :)

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  67. Well, I can easily assert that any idyllic notions I had of having chickens in my back yard have been replaced by the comfort and convenience (and lack of bloodshed) of Chicken McNuggets and KFC.

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  68. That sounds like a painful experience, but otherwise... hilarious!!!

    My parents had chickens (and a rooster) while I was growing up and I am convinced that they are good for nothing but eating! I'm happy to buy mine at the grocery store!

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  69. We had a rooster when we were kids and he was a mean little bugger!

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  70. I like roosters only of the ceramic variety on the shelves of my kitchen or on the rug in front on the sink. I'll stomp on that rug a few times for you tonight!

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  71. Once I dressed up like the San Diego chicken for a David and Goliath spoof, and let a kid throw a chicken (David) at me.

    Her rooster didn't much care for that.

    Good times.

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  72. Hi, visitng from SITS.

    I hate roosters! Brainless animals, crowing at all hours, not just sun-up - who wants to be awake at 3am??? Not me.

    Funny story.

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  73. I have to say, I LOVE your background!

    - a SITSta

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  74. Here's what you have to do...show the rooster who's boss. I can handle the roosters but not the turkeys. We once had a turkey that would chase me all over the yard. He would then run torment me and stand and flog the door.

    Happy SITS day!

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  75. Meep! That kinda freaked me out, I had no idea roosters could be so mean. Glad you were rescued. :)

    Happy SITS day!

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  76. Oh my! Hate it happened to you but glad it was not me!

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  77. I had to stop reading several time to wipe the tears.

    Happy SITS day!

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  78. Aaaargh!! Ok, I'm fine now. I'm having flashbacks to my teenage years when one of my chores was gathering eggs from our chicken coop. I bet you relished that roast chicken ;) Happy SITS Day! Very funny post!

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  79. Aagghh crud. My daughter recently purchased 14 hens (supposedly, but 15 arrived) and she announced, "One my be a rooster, but I won't know until they are fully mature." Lovely,... My girlfriend said that a shovel works. I haven't had to use it yet, but I carry a wiffle ball bat with me when I go to check out the little critters. They are so cute though... I do love roosters ~ from a distance.

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  80. I'm pretty afraid of birds to begin with, so this sounds like something straight out of a horror film. Aaarrgh!

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  81. I guess country life isn't as idyllic as one might hope! I collect silly chickens, but it had never occurred to me that a rooster might be all attack-y. I'l sleep with my eyes open in case the assorted statuary come to life!

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  82. Winner winner, chicken dinner! ;-)

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  83. Yikes!


    I live in a subdivision. One that has a "no livestock allowed" rule. About six months ago, I was outside in our backyard and saw a rooster walking down the middle of the street! It camped out in our neighbor's yard for a few months! I've no idea where it came from... or what happened to it!

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  84. i'd eat chicken every day for a month and not get bored of it if i was living near that

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  85. Those roosters can be grumpy! I grew up on a farm so I understand LOL Thanks for linking up on the Mystery Post Blog Hop this week :)

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  86. This is too funny, We had some neighbors move in across the street last summer and from somewhere a chicken appeared they claim it isn't theres but no one will own up to it, but it lays eggs all over the yard. (lol) my husband goes and picks them up "hey you want these for breakfast" I"m visiting from mommy d's kitchen. come on over and visit when you get a moment.

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