Sleeping Around

Yes I am married and I am sleeping around.  All around and all night long.  To tell you the truth it is quite exhausting.

We have (as many of you know) chosen not to run the a/c in our Texas home.  Quick run down.  We are not crazy we are poor.  97 year old house without insulation.  Without running a/c electric bills are around $100 a month.  With a/c running $600 a month.  Pretty easy to see decision making process.

So instead our home is open.  The doors and the windows.  Plenty of fans running too.  But in daily 100+ temperatures it is hot all day and most of the night too.  Many a night is in the high 90's at midnight still.  But we are resourceful poor folk.  Old houses have those big ol front porches and ours is no different.  With small walls and pillars and lattice work for the plants to climb.  So we put a full size bed out there to sleep on.  Hey it goes with the table that seats 8 for dinners and the small section of rocking chairs and regular chairs to relax in.  Big ol front porch....remember!

But as I was saying, we have a bed there too.  Plenty of fresh air and still privacy with the lattice work and plants hanging around.  Now this is all nice if I could just sleep.  No, not me.  Have to get up and down to run to the ladies room.  And disturb my Dear Hubby and the passel of dogs that keep watch over us.  Let me just give you a run down of how well I slept around last night.

First off I went to bed before Dear Hubby.  So I was sleeping next to the dining room windows on the porch.  All fine.  We actually had a lil rain storm and it was cooled off.  During the early night nature called.  So I pushed my pillows off the top of the bed and climbed out successfully not waking up Dear Hubby but alerting all the dogs.  Plodded off to the lil ladies room.  Well not wanting to bother the sleeping man I then moved to the rocking chair on the front porch with my feet propped up in another lil chair.  Sorta like a red-neck recliner.  That worked for a bit but had an ache in my neck.  Off I went back to the porch bed.  Climbed in, retrieved my pillows and off I went....out like a light.  Good so far.

Now of course nature calls me all night long so it was not long before I was back awake and needing to do the same thing once again.  Okay I have this routine down.  Knock off pillows, wake dogs, climb out.....wait no no no....no climbing out.  Instead massive leg cramps.  Wake Dear Hubby as I squirm in pain.  Finally he is now out of bed and I am limping to the lil ladies room.  (I am the poster child for the Vesicare Pipe Lady commercials.  Always gotta go!)  Seriously considering sleeping right in that lil room too!  But no.  I try again not to wake up the sleeping man and return to the red-neck recliner.  Crick in neck so I move to couch in the living room.  That room has finally cooled off so it should work out.  Dogs bark and cats play with my feet.  But sleep finally overtakes me once again.

Then Dear Hubby wakes and stumbles to the bedroom.  Falling across the bed there for a morning nap before work.  I try to join him as it seems a good idea to nap when sleep has not been so restful.  But no....no room.  But!  The porch bed is empty.  Off I scurry for my morning nap there.  Ten minutes later Granny M wakes and comes to the porch to wake me.  Wow how nice of her.  Now I get to start the day.

Have a plan for tonight though.  Prop open the dining room windows and when I have to get out of bed I can climb through into the house to run to the lil ladies room.  Gosh something wrong with sneaking in to my home at night.  Must be getting old.  As a teen we were trying to sneak out.  Someone help me.....I know I have lost my mind.