Sleeping Around

Yes I am married and I am sleeping around.  All around and all night long.  To tell you the truth it is quite exhausting.

We have (as many of you know) chosen not to run the a/c in our Texas home.  Quick run down.  We are not crazy we are poor.  97 year old house without insulation.  Without running a/c electric bills are around $100 a month.  With a/c running $600 a month.  Pretty easy to see decision making process.
So instead our home is open.  The doors and the windows.  Plenty of fans running too.  But in daily 100+ temperatures it is hot all day and most of the night too.  Many a night is in the high 90's at midnight still.  But we are resourceful poor folk.  Old houses have those big ol front porches and ours is no different.  With small walls and pillars and lattice work for the plants to climb.  So we put a full size bed out there to sleep on.  Hey it goes with the table that seats 8 for dinners and the small section of rocking chairs and regular chairs to relax in.  Big ol front porch....remember!
But as I was saying, we have a bed there too.  Plenty of fresh air and still privacy with the lattice work and plants hanging around.  Now this is all nice if I could just sleep.  No, not me.  Have to get up and down to run to the ladies room.  And disturb my Dear Hubby and the passel of dogs that keep watch over us.  Let me just give you a run down of how well I slept around last night.

First off I went to bed before Dear Hubby.  So I was sleeping next to the dining room windows on the porch.  All fine.  We actually had a lil rain storm and it was cooled off.  During the early night nature called.  So I pushed my pillows off the top of the bed and climbed out successfully not waking up Dear Hubby but alerting all the dogs.  Plodded off to the lil ladies room.  Well not wanting to bother the sleeping man I then moved to the rocking chair on the front porch with my feet propped up in another lil chair.  Sorta like a red-neck recliner.  That worked for a bit but had an ache in my neck.  Off I went back to the porch bed.  Climbed in, retrieved my pillows and off I went....out like a light.  Good so far.

Now of course nature calls me all night long so it was not long before I was back awake and needing to do the same thing once again.  Okay I have this routine down.  Knock off pillows, wake dogs, climb out.....wait no no climbing out.  Instead massive leg cramps.  Wake Dear Hubby as I squirm in pain.  Finally he is now out of bed and I am limping to the lil ladies room.  (I am the poster child for the Vesicare Pipe Lady commercials.  Always gotta go!)  Seriously considering sleeping right in that lil room too!  But no.  I try again not to wake up the sleeping man and return to the red-neck recliner.  Crick in neck so I move to couch in the living room.  That room has finally cooled off so it should work out.  Dogs bark and cats play with my feet.  But sleep finally overtakes me once again.

Then Dear Hubby wakes and stumbles to the bedroom.  Falling across the bed there for a morning nap before work.  I try to join him as it seems a good idea to nap when sleep has not been so restful.  But room.  But!  The porch bed is empty.  Off I scurry for my morning nap there.  Ten minutes later Granny M wakes and comes to the porch to wake me.  Wow how nice of her.  Now I get to start the day.

Have a plan for tonight though.  Prop open the dining room windows and when I have to get out of bed I can climb through into the house to run to the lil ladies room.  Gosh something wrong with sneaking in to my home at night.  Must be getting old.  As a teen we were trying to sneak out.  Someone help me.....I know I have lost my mind.


  1. Well, you did say that there was always time to dance! :)

    Few things come to mind. Can you close all of your AC vents, and keep it open in only one room so at least one room is cool-- how does the electric bill work if it was like that? It'd only be working one room, not the entire house. Just an idea.

    And stop drinking so much before going to bed! LOL, you poor thing.

  2. Nikki,

    Thanks for the idea. We tried it. Still does not cool well as our main rooms are all connected. Living room, dining room and kitchen. That is half of house alone. So bills still high.

    But hey, I am getting my exercise ain't I?

  3. Hahahaha!!! Oh I am picturing you climbing in the dining room window to go to the bathroom.. too funny...
    I miss my big porch.. I always am sad when I drive past a house with a big ol porch but no furniture on it.. Not one rocking chair.. Criminal if you ask me!!!
    Hoping for a good nights sleep tonight!

  4. From my friend Maureen Graham
    Love your blog.. and love your Sleeping Around story.. except.. didn't sound like a whole lotta sleepin goin on!

  5. Love your blog, shared it with mom. We both got a chuckle at your expense. Love ya hun, Sorry it's so darn hot but I can see how it makes sense to keep the AC off. Hope you get some sleep tonight. :)

  6. I really didn't know that Texas has Rednecks in it but you my dear have proved me wrong. Are you sure you are not living in West Virginia? lol I can not imagine having a porch big enough for all that furniture. I would love to sleep on the porch sometime without the heat and humidity that we have here in Ohio. Being hot and sweaty and sticking to the sheets is just no fun.

    Where are the pictures of this big ole bed on the front porch. And, you know if you stop drinking earlier in the evening you won't be up so many times during the night. Easier said than done isn't it?

    I hope you sleep better tonight:)

  7. Yikes. At least you have summer though, we're still waiting for ours to start.

  8. I think I would just die in the heat! Maybe a little less liquid before going to bed? I try to cut down before going to sleep, but I usually have to get up at least once in the middle of the night, too.

  9. Thanks for the laugh today Lynette. Wish I could help you with finding your mind but I think it is probably whooping it up somewhere on holiday with mine. Sweet dreams tonight.


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